It is a well rehearsed narrative, that we learn, gain, benefit more from our loses than from our triumphs. More from adversity than from our easy successes. Loses, adversity, often serves as the crucible in which our triumphs and our successes are forged.
Matthew McConaughey argues it is the red lights, “the things that make us pause, hardships, crises,” those things that “make us suffer,” also “force us to grow.” He is in good company.
It may be hard for some of us to accept that our suffering and all-to-frequent red lights are the silent teachers that guide us – it is both unquestionable and empirically true. Calm seas do not make good sailors.
Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.
Beckett’s well worn sentiment resonates naturally with the mentality of our bite-sized, hyper-mediated world where nearly every failure supposedly contains the seeds of future success: The notion of #successfulfailures permeates the modern motivation meme. It reminds me of “A Creed For Those Who Have Suffered,” where the narrators wishes are significantly under cut, and yet, the human reward, amplified.
How might this look in the cold reality of the everyday?
Hardly “suffering,” however, heavy traffic on the motorway offers time to reflect and recuperate. A poorly child and a sleepless night become opportunities to show a sense of care and duty to those you love more dearly than they will ever know. A heavy sense of personal responsibility, serves to protect others from experiencing the same.
Suffering is not surrendering. Foster self-compassion, reinforce our own abilities to carry on and reform or redefine the situation. The heavy traffic, the sleepless nights, the weight of responsibility, are burdens, yes they are, and they are also reminders of our ability be calm, be resilient and demonstrate our capacity for love, both for ourselves and others.
Suffering ceases to be so at the moment it finds a meaning.
Find meaning.
💚
A Creed For Those Who Have Suffered
I asked God for strength, that I might achieve.
I was made weak, that I might learn humbly to obey…
I asked for health, that I might do great things.
I was given infirmity, that I might do better things…
I asked for riches, that I might be happy.
I was given poverty, that I might be wise…
I asked for power, that I might have the praise of men.
I was given weakness, that I might feel the need of God…
I asked for all things, that I might enjoy life.
I was given life, that I might enjoy all things…
I got nothing I asked for – but everything I had hoped for;
Almost despite myself, my unspoken prayers were answered.
I am, among men, most richly blessed!