Ten years later… after a conversation with a colleague last night, I find myself sharing this post again. It is possibly the most shared post with teachers and particularly teachers and middle leaders working with new line managers. With a further ten years at the chalk face of school leadership, I recognise that I left out more than I included – that is the benefit of hindsight and the benefit of keeping a professional diary.
Structured conversation
It’s now four weeks into the new term and only now can I prioritise the time to write up my dictated notes that I emailed myself on Sun 12/09/2010 08:22. ‘Fierce Conversations‘ rather than ‘Fierce Leadership’ has proven to be the more valuable and practical read. I have shared both extracts and conversation with my colleagues on the issues highlighted. Here are my notes.
Fierce applied to Dept Meetings: Introducing a new policy or initiative:
Your Stump Speech
- This is where we’re going
- This why we’re going there
- This is who is going with us
- This is how we’re going to get there
I felt this provided a very simple yet effective framework for new (or experienced) Middle Leaders about to lead their first meeting or about to introduce their first initiative. A framework to alleviate the worry associated with a new task or new setting. It is effective because it is simple and concise.
The difficult conversation
Next, preparing a difficult or ‘unwelcomed conversation.’ A conversation addressing a prickly topic.
Preparing the Issue
THE ISSUE IS:
Be concise. In one or two sentences, get to the heart of the problem.
IT IS SIGNIFICANT BECAUSE:
What’s at stake? What is the future impact if the issue is not resolved?
MY IDEAL OUTCOME IS:
What specific results do I want?
RELEVANT BACKGROUND INFORMATION:
Summarize with bullet points.
WHAT I HAVE DONE UP TO THIS POINT:
What have I done so far? What options am I considering?
THE HELP I WANT FROM THE INDIVIDUAL OR GROUP IS:
I felt this this set of guidelines, expanded as a character within the book, offered a strong framework from which to design and lead an ‘unwelcomed conversation.’ All delivered in less than 60 second. Clear, clean, factual.
Ten years on, this is a structure I frequently return to and employ. As presented here, is severely lacking. With whom are you having the conversation? What is the power relationship? Are you managing or managing up? When and where you hold this conversation is almost as important as the conversation itself. How you initiate or propose the conversation, the time between proposing and holding the conversation, how you deliver the conversation of course and what you do after the conversation – are all important. (You may wish to share an outline of the script and a note of professional recognition for the time of the participant.
Given all of those points- the two most important point are: Check that what you say it what is heard and understood (200% communication) and both parties must able to leave the conversation with their pants on. They must be able to leave with their dignity intact.
Fierce Conversations.
Finally, the ‘Seven Principles of Fierce Conversations.’ This is more a leadership philosophy and I while I endorse the sentiment, I think there is a need to reflect upon this list further.
Principle #1: Master the courage to interrogate reality
No plan survives its collision with reality and reality has an irritating habit of shifting.
Principle #2: Come out from behind yourself into the conversationand make it real.
Principle #3: Be here, prepared to be nowhere else.
Participate as if it matters. It does!
Principle #4: Tackle your toughest challenges today.
The problem named is the problem solved. Stay current. Travel light, agenda free.
Principle #5: Obey your instincts.
Trust your internal radar. Test your hunches in the midst of your conversations.
Principle #6: Take responsibility for your emotional wake.
Learn to deliver the message without the load.
Principle #7: Let silence do the heavy lifting.
Memorable conversations include breathing spaces. Insights often occur in the gaps between words.
Of all the suggestions within this book, I have tried to applied principle 3 and 5 most consciously. Both have improved my relationships with the staff I work with.
Still learning and still working hard to get this stuff more right – ten years later.